We have reached the time of year when things smell different. There are leaves on the ground. The trees change clothing, change skin. Haunted corn mazes and haunted mills are popping up everywhere. It’s an epidemic.
I wish a bit that I was home. I wish I was playing with the silly puppy, and talking to my dad. I like school. I like school a lot. I love the freedom that comes with no bosses, and the purpose that comes with challenging classes. But I miss the safety of family, and the ease of farm labor.
What I really want to discuss today is the Plan. You know: THAT plan. Sometimes I find myself in a literal panic about the marriage plan. Am I trying hard enough? Is that the point? Doesn’t it really come down to God’s timing? Do I have very much influence on that timing? Am I doing something wrong? Would it be wrong to take my hands off the panic wheel, and let Heavenly Father drive this bus? I could do that… I am getting more and more used to the idea of a career. I love agriculture. I LOVE agriculture. I could be very happy working with animal reproduction and nutrition until I am old and rich enough to retire. I could be THAT aunt: the rich single one who takes the kids to her ranch to play with the big dogs and fluffy sheep. I could be the lady who takes her parents of vacations. I could be the funny single one. I think I could be happy with that.
I know what Heavenly Father promised me. I know that I have so much in my future if I do what is right. The point of this discussion is whether or not I have control of the situation that I am not utilizing.
I am amazing. I am lovely and very attractive. I know these things. I know that I have an infinite amount of love to offer to a man. I’m working hard in preparation. Another difficult aspect of this situation is my growth. There is no way to measure improvement or advancement in the dating/marriage field. I want to measure SOMETHING besides weight or waist diameter. I’m just saying… the lack of measurable evidence of my betterment is frustrating.
I need to talk to my mom.
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