Such a Child

"My heart leaps up when I behold
A rainbow in the sky.
So was it when my life began;
So is it now I am a man;
So be it when I grow old,
Or let me die!
The Child is father of the Man;
And I could wish my days to be
Bound each to each by natural piety."
-William Wordsworth


I am sometimes such a child. Sometimes, I shriek in joy at seeing a squirrel jumping around. Sometimes, sitting in the car and singing is my absolutely favorite pastime. I’m simple. I’ve always been this way. There have always been people who have looked at me with a bit of confusion. “Why is that twenty year old girl cooing over a goat?” They wonder. “What is that woman doing over there in the grass? Is she singing?” This week, I learned why it is ok that I do these sorts of things.

I learned about myself this week, and I want you to know how important this is to me. As of last October, my goal was to learn about myself. I prayed and prayed and searched myself for myself. Who was this girl Victoria? I don’t know it all, but analyzing this poem for this class has taught me about my loving and joyous nature.

“ My heart leaps up when I behold/ A rainbow in the sky: So was it when my life began; So is it now I am a man.” If William Wordsworth himself can find and express joy in the small things, why can’t I? What a child he was, when he wrote this as a man. My insight came in the form of a few connections.

I have learned recently that I have an enormous capacity for love. I learned this week that my love does not, and should not, necessarily extend to people only. I have love for phenomena like rainbows, piglets, buds on the spring branch, footprints in the soil, and cloudy skies. I learned that I am supremely blessed with this childish trait.

What a child I am. What a child. What a daughter of God Himself. What a gift I have to be able to laugh with the crow as he scolds me away from his nest. I knew I loved these things. I hadn’t known with concrete surety that this was an acceptable, desirable even, gift.

Oh, how blessed I was to make this connection, to receive this insight in this week, in this year, in this lifetime.