Back in Black

So I'm back in Rexburg.

My heart hurts. A little bit much.

Prayer= the only escape and complete comprehension. But really, I am in serious pain. I don't regret telling Andrew to leave me alone, that he was being selfish, that he needed to let me grow up so he could grow up, and that he was bringing me down. But I miss him, especially those times that I can't remember his faults. Especially those times that I remember how well he knew me, and admired me for what I was. In thinking about it, there was, among other things, one part of me that he did not want to understand. He did not understand that I want to progress. He doesn't see how much I want to love and give everything to a man. He doesn't see how much I am worth.

There are serious literal cramps between my lungs. I miss the anger, and pity that I had towards him. I miss the beginning of forgiveness. I miss that. I miss him. I miss myself, the one that I knew before he was so important to me.

Prayer. That's all I possess that will lead me to any happiness.



Victoria